i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
