so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
