It's like God shit irony all over that family
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
