Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
