FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
