he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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