Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
