In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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