He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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