He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
