Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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