idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
