I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
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