it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
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