either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
