can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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