i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
