32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
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