You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I woke up under a house in Key West
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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