I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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