So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
