you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
