U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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