My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
