You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
