Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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