I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
