when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
