In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
