i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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