i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
