You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
