we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
