whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
