I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
