Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Randomize
