you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
