Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
