Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Houston, we have a squirter
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
