I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
