I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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