we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
