Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
