but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
