Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
