Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
