I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
