the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
