question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
