Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
