I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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